My Heart is Sad Because of You
by Toreshi
Summary: Mon coeur est triste a cause de toi. Tomoyo's thoughts, of sadness, after losing the one she loved best, Eriol, who left her for reasons unknown.


**Author's note:** this is based on life, I was bitter, and this was me trying to sort out my feelings. It is also a classic example of my sad ending stories.

**Mon Coeur est Triste a Cause de Toi**

– **My Heart is Sad Because of You**

**By the Toreshi san**

'_Sadness. Tears. Dead._'

Tomoyo looked out of her window from her bedroom. She was looking through her photo album, at all the photos which had her and Eriol together, as friends.

They had always been friends, always. Ever since he had come to their elementary school. But it was not until their second year in junior high did she realise that she was in love with him, not like, love.

She had kept the secret for nearly four years and it was the second last year of senior high. Eriol had asked her out, and she had declined, though they both silently agreed upon an in-school type of relationship. He admitted that he liked her, but she never told him that she loved him.

This had gone on for a little over a week, '_I was so happy_,' she thought. Tears fell silently down her face, and her heart felt weak. It was hard to breathe.

He had then decided all of a sudden that the relationship would not work out and had broken it off. She had fallen in his arms weeping.

"I just don't want us to lose this friendship." He said sadly as he held her, "you are one of my best friends, and don't want to lose you when we break up later. It would hurt more later."

'_How could it possibly hurt more later, when it hurts so much now?_' she thought, still in tears.

"Are you alright?" he asked her gently.

"Yes, I'm fine, my heart is breaking but I'm fine!" she said.

"I think I can understand a little of what you feel," Eriol murmured comfortingly, still holding her.

'_How?_' she thought to herself, "You don't understand," she said aloud, "you cannot understand at all." She couldn't look at him, so she shook herself free of his embrace and walked off slowly, tears still shining upon her face.

'_You could never understand that I loved you, you can never. I would have given the whole world for you. You couldn't understand because you never tried, and I never once told you that I loved you. But I do, I do love you, and nothing can help it now._' Her heart cried silently, sad at its own breaking.

She turned quickly and said to him, "Mon coeur est triste a cause de toi." Then disappeared out the door. They had learnt French together, it was one of the many things that linked them together. he would have understood it.

She was now sitting at her piano playing 'Pachebel's Canon'. Music was another of the things that linked them together. She quietly reminisced about all the times they had happily spent singing and playing the piano together. The Canon was their special piece, because he had taught it to her.

'_he never knew that I loved him, but I never told him._' She cried silently to herself, _' so I suppose I am just as much of a fool as he_.'

The phone rang.

Eriol's voice said "This is going to sound really stupid - "

"It already does," cut in Tomoyo bluntly and sadly.

"I was wondering if you would take me back." Tears fell faster from the eyes of the broken girl.

"Mon coeur est triste a cause de toi," she said, "I cannot take you back, though I want to. I can't trust you enough to think that you will not break my heart again." she sobbed into the phone.

"You don't understand, Tomoyo." He said, his voice wavering. But still he had given no reason to why he wanted her back. There was a moment of strained silence on either side.

"Maybe I don't, but I don't want to either. All I know is my heart is broken, and that you cannot possibly understand what I feel, never. You never tried. And I never told you. So you can never know." She cried, "good bye."

She hung up the phone and broke down on the piano bench. Her heart was breaking again in her, and she did not know how she could ever love again. A heart would not be a heart if it could not be broken.

Mon coeur est triste, et mort.

**End**

**Author's note:**

Please review if it is good or bad. I'd like to know if my ramblings made any sense at all in a haze of pain.

"_Mon coeur est triste, et mort."_ – my heart is sad, and dead.


End file.
